Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Woot! A nice cancerous woman has bequeathed me $35,000,000!

She wants me to establish a charity home for the upkeep of: widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially--but I think I'll just spend it on high-priced hookers, as I think they fall into the general realm of her intent.

I haven't posted one of these Nigerian 419 scam letters recently, and this one caught my eye.  Many people probably wonder who would be actually stupid enough to fall for one of a scam like this since they are so well known.  Then they might wonder--what idiot would email these silly worded things out anyway--they are so obviously fake!

It's quite simple; the clever idea is to exclude the smart people and only attract the true rubes.  The Freakonomics guys cover the economics behind the concept in their new book I highly recommend (especially on audio, cause it's author read), "Think Like a Freak."

This scam has a slightly new take on it--someone asking me to contact someone else, which I did.  Turns out there is a Larrissa Tucker student at Emporia College in Kansas, and she's an honor roll student, to boot.  I'm not sure about the hinky email domain address, though, with that "g" in from of the emporia.edu, so I didn't reply to her.  What the hell is she doing up at 2:11 AM, anyway?

-------- Original message --------
From: Larrissa Tucker <ltucker1@g.emporia.edu>
Date:11/17/2014 2:11 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: Peter S. Dee 
Subject: Hello.

I was told to contact you by Mrs Felicia Nathan as regards you helping her carrying out her last wish as she is in a sick bed now please contact her via her private email: (felicianathan12@gmail.com
for more details.

-------- Original message --------
From: Peter S. Dee
Date:11/17/2014 6:16 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: felicianathan12@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Hello.

How can I help? 

-------- Original message --------
From: Mrs Felicia Nathan <felicianathan12@gmail.com>
Date:11/17/2014 9:09 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: Peter S. Dee
Subject: Re: Hello.

I am Mrs. Felicia Nathan, suffering from cancerous ailment. I was married to Sir Johnson Nathan an English shipping tycoon notable for his great charitable activities before his death in March 24th, 2010.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Thirty Five Million Us dollars ($35,000,000.00 USD) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with a Bank in West Africa and named me as the beneficiary of this trust fund. (All records are kept with my family lawyer). Presently, this money is still with the Bank. 

My Doctor told me recently, that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems that I have been suffering from,Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition with the Cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen me, I have decided to donate this fund to YOU and i want you to use this gift which comes from my Late husbands effort to establish a charity home for the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures, which is the reason i took this bold decision. I do not need any telephone Communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my Husband relatives around me. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated Herein.

Hope to hear from you soon. Remain Blessed,

Mrs. Felicia Nathan.

Turns out there is no "Sir Johnson Nathan." You'd think a rich tycoon "notable for his great charitable activities" would turn up quickly on Google, but not so.  Pretty strange for this Nigerian scammer to use someone not verifiable, but perhaps that's an extra layer of the rube selection process--it would certainly exclude a lot of less rube-ish people once they drop out after they couldn't verify this woman's dead husbands name.

In fact, the name "Johnson Nathan" is so rare, Google force-returns you "Nathan Johnson," another rare name, because it thinks you're so stupid to ask for it.

Again, another way to select for only the most gullible people.  I think the problem is that people this stupid probably wouldn't have very much money to steal, let alone have the actual literacy to read email in the first place. 

Jonathan Gruber, anyone? He's pretty stupid.

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