Monday, January 18, 2016

An Ode to the Republican RINOs in the 114th US Congress


I was a young kid when Glen Campbell's Rhinestone Cowboy came out, maybe 7 or so, and I loved it as much as any young country kid could love and idolize a song. From what I gather, all of America did at the time, and the song passed into legend, even being made into a movie starring John Travolta.  It was the kind of saccharin song that, when overplayed, you really never wanted to listen to again.

So I didn't. 

I didn't hate it. 

I just couldn't listen to it without vomiting--like Jack Daniels.

I don't remember exactly when inspiration struck, but it wasn't long after the 2014 mid-term elections swept the Republicans into power, taking complete control over the 114th US Congress.  Finally, those GOP promises of standing up to Obama in 2010 after the Tea Party revolution--if we could only get control of the Congress--would bear fruit.

It took less than three months to see that it was all lies.  The Inhuman $hields and I were pretty pissed.  If you recall, almost immediately after the November 2014 route, the 2016 Presidential races began.  In the early stages, Jeb! Bush was the leading GOP front runner by double digits. Lindsey Grahamnesty was making noise about getting in. And Mittens Romney.  And George Patooti.  And John "It's not an act, I'm really clinically insane" Kasich.  And Krispy Kreme.

A RINO parade was lining up.

And meanwhile, the GOP Congress was throwing its ass in the air for the Democrats to pound away on.

Fucking RINOs, we thought.

You lied to us, you corrupt motherfuckers, and you were going to choose another of your kind to run for President, and lose, of course, to someone even more corrupt than you.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of one of our minds--and it might have been in Big Daddy Warbucks' deranged cranium--a concept came together. 

And then the words.

And then the music.

We'll make a video next.

But tonight, we sing!



RINO Cowboys 

I’ve been walking K Street so long,
Greasin’ them palms ain’t wrong.
I know every crook in the dirty streets of the Beltway.
Where money’s the name of the game,
And suckers get washed away, like blow down the drain.

I’ve done a load of compromisin’,
So my campaign funds keep risin’,
And I’m gonna be where the press are shining on we.

Chorus:
Like RINO Cowboys,
Riding out in a limo to a star-studded morning show.

Like RINO Cowboys,
Getting cash donations from lobbyists we don’t even know.
And bundlers calling over the phone.

Well I really don’t mind cocaine,
And a hooker helps ease some pain,
When she’s down for pullin’ a train,
While giving us bee jays.
And I dream of the pork in backrooms,
With millions in kickbacks and contracts from IOUs.

There’ll be a load of little lyin’,
Every place where I’ll be flyin’,
And we’re gonna be under lights on CNBC.

Chorus:
Like RINO Cowboys,
Riding out in a limo sipping 1959 Bordeaux
Like RINO Cowboys,
Leaking inside info to pundits from Politico.
And cronies calling over the phone.

RINO Cowboys,
Riding out in a limo to a star-studded donkey show.

Like RINO Cowboys,
Getting cash donations from people we don’t even know.
And Brit Hume callin' over the phone...

credits

released January 18, 2016
"RINO Cowboy", by Peter S. Dee and the Inhuman $hields ©2016, originally by Larry Weiss ©1974, performed by Glen Campbell as "Rhinestone Cowboy."

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